Mummy Blogger? I Don’t Make The Cut

August 2, 2016
I have well and truly hit a pessimistic bastard of a brick wall.
So, i’ll set the scene for you…
Tonight I sat down, optimistically, pen/notebook in hand, discussing with the other half how I could make my blog a little bit more inviting. I even signed up to the Tots100 website, where I thought I could research other UK parenting blogs and see first hand what I am doing wrong. Apparently, there is a LOT. 
Here is where I am at now. I feel absolutely, utterly, truly and completely atrocious as a mother. Who are all of these perfect women? They have beautiful sidebar images of themselves, and have clearly paid a tidy sum for a custom designed template which displays their perfectly written posts with beautiful photography attached.
Who am I? I am a regular Plain-Jane, almost 21 years old, who certainly does not understand the absolute algebra which is HTML coding. I am battling an endless debate in my mind as to whether I should actually pay for my own domain, just in case people simply do not find me interesting enough to read my posts, in which I will be left at the end of the year with disappointment, self-hate and £10 less in my bank account.
From what I have stumbled upon, you need to talk about various parenting topics in order to bring people in and of course, get them to stay. Truth is, I do not know how to cook ‘healthy’ recipes for a child. I will be the woman reading these posts, in a year to come, wondering where you can buy some ingredient nobody has ever heard of, that will of course be a must in a gluten free cheese on toast recipe. I can’t tell you how to take perfect photographs, as I only come equipped with the camera on my phone, which is about as good as it will get, and we’re struggling on one full wage and one statutory maternity wage, which is why I probably shouldn’t spend real life money on a blogging template I will inevitably dislike after a few days of looking at it.
I do not know what people will look for in a post, or the first place to start when it comes to advertising my blog and gaining an audience.
I sat and read a huge post about the ‘no no for blogs’ earlier, and my blog could’ve been a perfect example of everything you can do wrong. In fact, I may message the Author of said blog to feature me as a representative. I don’t have an about me page, I don’t have ‘jump out and smack you in the face’ social media links, I haven’t any set topics or a schedule that people will come to know. You’re all parents. How do you multi-task so well? I have about two hours to myself on a night and approximately one hour of that is pouring multiple glasses of wine, and the other hour is complaining that I have none left. Sometimes, (most times), I like to ignore my responsibilities, and that specifically includes things like the dishes and the hoovering because I simply cannot be arsed. If there is nothing in the freezer that can be thrown into the oven or microwave, I will order a pizza, refusing to admit I have cheated on my diet for the 15th time in a week.
I just like a good moan. I think that is why I love writing this blog so much.
I am not ‘mummy blogger’ material, but I am a mummy, and I am a blogger, and hopefully, I don’t need the most amazing blog for you to enjoy my posts.
I will eventually work to fix all of these things that make me a crap blogger, but you may just have to bare with me for now. At the moment I am just so appreciative of all the views and responses I do get.
You can follow me here on Bloglovin (I inserted a social media link and everything)

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