Annoying Things My Partner Does

September 6, 2016

When I sat down and thought about writing this post, I thought it would be quite hard to come up with 10 things Anthony does that really get on my nerves. In reality it was really easy. Sorry Anthony, I guess you’re just an annoying person (only sometimes though, I promise I still really love you). Now My Name Is Mummy wrote a post named ‘Stuff Daddy Does That Annoys Mummy’ which really inspired me to write this. If you haven’t yet, go check it out, but please come back!

I don’t think any of us can sit here and pretend that we have the perfect partners who don’t get on our nerves from time to time. Some of these my fiancé does without even realising, and some I am sure he does on purpose just to wind me up. Here is the list I managed to come up with in about 10 minutes. Again, sorry Anthony.

The ones I have in common with Claire:

1. He is clearly the babies favourite even though I spent countless hours on my own with him every day, remove the korma poo from his bits as he only likes to poo on a morning when Mammy is half awake, and I frequently sing him to sleep. Yet daddy pulls a face when he gets in from work and gets hysterical laughter, extra cuddles and constant smiles. How?
2. Taught the baby to say ‘dada’ before ‘mama’ and O regularly repeats it. Technically, this is both of their faults as O should have refused to betray me, but I have come to accept that I live in a world full of traitors. I am going to be surrounded by men. Why did I sign up for this again?
3. He spends an hour on the toilet, but this will always be conveniently when the baby has had a poo through his suit, or when mammy is in the middle of having a small but serious break down. Not just the toilet, but the bath too. Who wants to spend an hour and a half in the bath?

Things he specifically does that annoys me:

4. He never takes pictures of me with the baby. I’ll spend an hour doing my make up, half an hour doing my hair, we’ll go somewhere lovely and scenic for him to only take a picture of me 4 hours later when my make up is off at home with my pj’s on eating something which happens to be on my face – chins out and everything. Thanks darling, I’ll never have pictures with my child but I will always remember that jam donut.
5. He never brings the empty toilet roll tubes down from the bathroom and finds countless places he can hide them/throw them as opposed to just putting them in the bin. I feel like I am in an annoying game I haven’t signed up for
6. He only gives me a shoulder rub if I agree to give him one back. I see where he’s coming from, but like Christmas you can’t always give to receive, unless its me giving him one, and then he must give me one in return. That is just the rules.
7. This one is especially from the breast feeding hot mess I was at the beginning of my child’s life – he’d wake up first thing on a morning and tell me that he was SO unbelievably tired, and I would think HOW?! I have been up every half an hour whilst our child makes my poor boobies bleed and you think you’re tired. This one was the one that made me want to injure him the most
8. Throws the baby around like a tiny human rugby ball, and then passes him back to me just as he decides to throw up. Daddy doesn’t get sicked on anymore. I told you – he’s the favourite, I am sure.
9. Because of his ‘night terrors’ (we assume, as he hasn’t been to the doctors yet) he regularly jumps out of bed shouting that there is some animal trying to attack me and we have to leave the house immediately. His favourite to shout about are giant spiders lurking in the darkness, but no, not always. Once there was a wasp under the bed with a knife waiting for me, and a few days later ‘a French man was stood at the bottom of the bed’ staring at us. It sounds comical and I am sure you are shaking your head in disbelief, but at 3 in the morning this is not what you need, especially when said shouting wakes the baby up.
10. Last but not least, and the worst in my opinion, he eats all of the biscuits before I even get a sniff and leaves the packet lurking in the cupboard as some form of taunt. This really tests our relationship status.

Leave a comment if you can relate to any of these things. I am sure you can!

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