It’s official. I am currently housing baby number 2 – and to be honest, I forgot how scary it actually is.
I found out almost 2 weeks ago now and I must have been super early because I wasn’t due on my period at all. In fact, I wasn’t due on for 9 days, so I must have ovulated almost as soon as my last period was over. Of course I rushed out and bought another 10 tests so I could check every day if the line was getting darker, and when it did, I was so happy.
I waited to tell everyone because I am so scared of announcing another chemical pregnancy. It’s not that I wouldn’t openly tell you it was a chemical pregnancy, I would, but it’s mainly because a lot of people still don’t understand what it is.
A lot of people think it is when your brain tricks your body into thinking you’re pregnant because you want it so much. That isn’t true.
A chemical pregnancy is when the egg is fertilised and starts to release the pregnancy hormone, but then it doesn’t implant properly and ends up coming away as a period. If you test early you’re likely to know if you have experienced a chemical, as you may get a really faint positive and then a complete negative a few days later.
The worst part is that you feel like you’re being tricked, and especially if you tell people you’re pregnant and get your period a few days later. It leaves nothing but confusion.
Luckily though, my lines got darker and I was booked in with a midwife who got me a scan a few days ago. Turns out I am around 5 weeks exactly, and although there was no baby, which is normal at this time, there was a tiny little 4mm sac for my baby to live in for the upcoming months. Eek! I have a repeat scan next week, and they have just taken my bloods yesterday to determine if my HCG is doubling as it should. My repeat test is tomorrow – so make sure you follow me on twitter for an update.
The only reason I have had this much attention already though, is because I have had the most horrendous pain in my right hand side. I know all about ectopic pregnancies, although I luckily haven’t suffered with one. As soon as the pain increased I told the midwife instantly, and they just didn’t really seem worried at all. Earlier, I sneezed and the pain (around my hip area) was so bad I almost blacked out. I had to sit down and gather myself for a second. If that isn’t worrying, what is?
I rang the early pregnancy unit again who advised they just have to wait for my repeat blood test. All I can think is, if I lose my womb… then what?
I don’t want this pain to stop me from ever having another baby. I am terrified.
I have told them many times and nobody cares or they pass it off as “normal pregnancy pains”. I will push this and push this until I know everything is okay. They couldn’t even determine on the scan at this moment where the baby is growing apparently, which I don’t quite understand, but anyway…
Overall, I am worried sick, which many would say is a pretty normal pregnancy so far. Hopefully, if everything is okay, I am going to continue to do fortnightly updates throughout with scan pictures and eventual bump pictures. I will keep you all posted and can’t wait to take you through this with me!
Also, just to add before I go – I know a lot of people will think this is a super early announcement, but as I said on my miscarriage post – I don’t believe anyone should go through pregnancy alone. Whatever happens, I will always share it, because there will always be someone else suffering in silence who is desperate to read something that may give them some comfort.