Early pregnancy is bloody awful. I do completely understand why a lot of people refuse to talk about it, because you literally never know whether you’re coming or going at any point. Things change so quickly it’s bizarre, and this week has definitely been one of those god awful times that I can’t wait to see the back of.
After my last scan, I was so elated to see that the baby was growing and looked to be in the right place. They couldn’t tell me for definite that everything was okay and would continue as it should, but it was all looking pretty good if I am honest. When I left, they booked me another follow up scan for the 7th of September, and off I went, happy as Larry.
I woke up the next day and immediately noticed blood after I went for a wee. It was only a tiny amount, but I know from past experience that blood isn’t ever really a good sign during pregnancy. That’s not to say something will definitely be wrong, of course, but it should always be reported even if it is just a small amount.
So, I panicked, cried my eyes out and phoned the EPU. They pushed my scan forward to the 5th (yesterday), and left me waiting for a week to know what the fate of my little bean would be. Honestly, it has felt like the longest week of my life.
I’ve had a bleed this morning 😟— MumConventional (@mumconventional) August 31, 2017
Not only that, the pain in my side continued to get worse and I was in bed in agony the majority of the time. It felt like someone was splitting my side open, as well as the most horrendous burning sensation all around my hip. I found myself googling ectopic symptoms again and also if it was possible for the scan technician to have mistakenly located the pregnancy and given me false hope.
It was possible, and you can imagine how anxious I was about the whole thing… especially when I had another bleed a few days after.
To make matters even worse, if possible, my symptoms just vanished.
I don’t know whether I was just in adrenaline mode and my mind was elsewhere, or I was having a good pregnancy day, but I didn’t feel sick or tired anymore and my boobs weren’t aching for the first time in weeks. It felt like I had gone to sleep pregnant and woke up a different person, and following two bleeds I just had a gut feeling something had happened and tried my best to prepare myself for the worst.
Finally, after much anticipation, the scan came around. The technician asked me why I was there and she had turned one of the monitors off and the other away from us, which didn’t make me feel great if I am honest. After what seemed like forever, she turned it round and showed us the babies flashing heart beat.
I can’t even put into words how that felt, but it was completely unexpected and I just wanted to jump off the bed and kiss her.
Our baby, who was just 5 weeks exactly a week ago, was now showing as almost 7 weeks. Last week, all I could see was a sac with no baby in it, and this week I got to see the heart beat. How crazy is that?! As I said, it is absolutely bizarre, and nothing at all can prepare you for early pregnancy. You never know what is going to happen.
I am so incredibly happy. Baby is wonderful, around 7 weeks (grown 2 weeks in a week!), visibly a baby now, and with a heart beat too ❤️😊— MumConventional (@mumconventional) September 5, 2017
And now, I just have to wait for my 12 week one. I have officially been dismissed by the EPU, and it all feels a bit real.
I am having another baby, oh my goodness.
My symptoms have returned with a bang, and are mainly nausea, tiredness, extremely sore boobs and dizziness. It does sound odd, but I am so glad when I feel like this because it makes me feel like everything is still okay. I probably won’t be enjoying it in months to come though.
Just to add before I go, I want to say the support I have received from people on Twitter over the past few days has been bloody fantastic, and has actually kept me sane. It really is so easy to focus on the negative when you have no idea what is going on, and despite me thinking everything was over, I had so many people telling me not to worry and asking me every single day if I was okay. I will always remember that, and I am so thankful that my blog has brought me and these wonderful people together. (I don’t really want to name anyone as there were so many and I will probably forget someone and feel awful, but I know they will know exactly who I am talking about if they are reading this)
I’ll be back with another update soon, and hopefully a more positive one too.